Changes, changes

I asked my physics teacher, Mr. Dickerson, why he wanted to become a teacher. He told me this huge speech of his that brought tears to both our eyes. In short, he said that he wanted to teach because of the students. 

For a while now, I’ve been stuck in the middle of a very taut rope. On one side is engineering and on the other is education. Ever since I was a little kid, I wouldn’t really play with Barbies but rather fix things and figure how weird things worked. I would create my own little inventions out of cardboard and other things I could get my hands on. I was soon introduced to engineering. From then on, my entire family always said, “Oh Misbah will become an engineer. She’ll do great in engineering”. I was never given any other choices in my life. However, in the midst of figuring out how things would work, I would also lay all my unused Barbies and teddy bears in a line and teach them. I would teach them math and english right after I would get home from school. And that’s the story of how these two professions came into my life.

Now here’s where it got complicated. This past year, I was given an opportunity to take Ready, Set, Teach! It’s a class where we go out to elementary schools and student teach. I decided to pick 6th grade and I fell in love with them from the first day. The kids were the best. They never ceased to make me smile. When I got up to teach them, I fell even more in love with teaching. Walking away from that classroom, knowing I instilled knowledge in those little brains, put a feeling of utter and complete happiness in me. Happiness that has not died since that first day. As I began to love teaching more, I realized that my interest in engineering was fading very slowly. That interest fluctuates as a result of my bipolar disorder. I will love engineering so much one week and then lose interest the next. I’m also very stubborn. Well, when I didn’t know what to do, I began praying. I put my full faith in God and decided that He knows what is best for me. I also began looking at the pro’s and con’s of each profession. The pro’s of engineering was that it gave a good pay. The con’s: the pay was not going to last long - women will always get paid less, I also refuse to be put down by my male colleagues just because I am a female. The pro’s of teaching: I get a job right out of college due to my Ready, Set, Teach benefits, I get to do something that I absolutely love for the next 40 years of my life, and it’s something that I will never get tired of. The cons: the pay isn’t that great, but I was never in for a career because of the money. It was only until today that I was given what seems to be a sign from God. 

Engineering will always be a male dominated career. That does not mean that women will not be able to do it. It only means that women will be neglected in the work force and will be bullied at work to an extent. There’s never any guarantee that your boss will be kind and give you equal pay as the men. For the past four years, I’ve stressed over things I shouldn’t have stressed over and I don’t want the next four years of my life to be like that. I don’t want to miss family occasions because I have a test to study for. I also do not want to look for months for a job. Knowing I have a set job right out of college is the best thing anyone could ask for. All in all, I love teaching and there’s not more or less to it.

So here’s my final decision. I am officially changing my major from Civil Engineering to Education. It’s been a long journey trying to figure out what I need to do and I’m glad I’ve decided. To me, being able to teach a child and change that child’s life in some way, shape, or form is the best thing in the world. It’s about doing what I love and nothing else. No other profession can beat that. 

I am honestly in the happiest mood in the world right now :)